by Dr. David Palmer, Ed.D.
You might have noticed quite a transformation if you've recently visited The Inclusion Matters Collective's Instagram profile. Why the change? Well, I've been on quite the journey to clearly define what TIMC is all about—a journey to find my niche where I can best use my knowledge, experience, and skills to help those most need it.
The Journey Begins
When my wife and I started Inclusion Matters Education Services in October 2022, we focused on providing assessments, advocacy, coaching, and consulting to support neurodivergent students in school. We worked primarily with parents, guiding them through the complexities of IEP meetings and witnessing the transformative power of advocacy and executive function coaching.
A Shift in Focus
As I coached students and saw immediate results, it became clear that while the students benefited greatly, their parents needed support too. They needed to know how to follow through with the strategies I was teaching. This realization led me to focus on coaching parents of neurodivergent children, specifically those needing to grow their executive functioning skills.
Finding My True Calling and Purpose
After taking online business classes and consulting with other coaches, I decided I needed to narrow my niche further to coaching parents of ADHD+ kids. But my wife encouraged me to look deeper. She reminded me of my extensive training in neurodivergence, special education, trauma-informed care, and PolyVagal Theory and how applying these principles in our own home with our neurodivergent teens positively affected them and us.
The Turning Point
As the 2024-25 school year began, I noticed that many students in special and general education classes struggled with emotional regulation. Teachers felt ill-equipped to support these students effectively, often resorting to punitive measures. It became clear that a different approach was needed—one rooted in trauma-informed and neurodiversity-affirming care.
A Workshop That Changed Everything
My principal gave me the opportunity to lead a 20-minute workshop for the entire staff on supporting emotional regulation through connection, titled "Regulation 101." The response was overwhelmingly positive. Teachers had lightbulb moments; some were even moved to tears, and many stayed after to discuss further or ask for coaching. (You can view the slides at theimatter.co/media)
The New Face of TIMC: Emotional Regulation Coaching
Today, I feel extremely confident and comfortable with what I want to achieve through TIMC. Here's what you'll see on our Instagram profile (instagram.com/theimatterco):
Emotional Regulation Coach
👥 I coach parents & teachers
🎯 to ⬇️ outbursts, meltdowns, & resistance
🌱 & ⬆️ thriving resilience
😄 in 6️⃣ simple steps👇
Breaking It Down
Emotional Regulation Coach
My focus is on supporting neurodivergent children and teens with emotional regulation and resilience. Emotions drive learning, motivation, behaviors, and attitudes. Emotional regulation is key for executive functioning, planning, sustained attention, impulse control, and qualities like curiosity, confidence, and courage.
Parents and Teachers
As parents (caregivers) and teachers, we have the most significant impact on our Exceptionally Wired children and teens. My coaching empowers you with the understanding, empathy, and strategies to cultivate emotional regulation and resilience at home and school.
Outbursts, Meltdowns, Resistance
These behaviors are often a response to internal stressors, not defiance. Our children need deeper support than threats, bribes, or reasoning. My approach sees these "Big 3" as opportunities to empower parents and teachers to practice strength-based, neuro-affirming, whole-child co-regulation.
Thriving Resilience
Let’s start with resilience. Resilience is not only the ability to bounce back/recover from adversity but also the power to face difficulties and challenges with a growth mindset while in control of our thoughts, feelings, and actions (Head, Heart, Hands). I like to think of resilience as the capacity of a person to maintain their core purpose and integrity in the face of dramatically changed circumstances. That is, resilient people know who they are and who they are supposed to be and are not changed by the circumstances around them, no matter how difficult or painful.
Emotional resilience is hitting a wall, so to speak, and being able to feel the emotion, recognize it, determine if it is helpful or hurtful at the moment, and regulate it so you can move forward with confidence and purpose. It could be in a moment when you don’t get your way, when you feel sensory overload, when you are working through a relationship conflict, when you are made to feel inferior, and in a million other scenarios.
Thriving is more than surviving, coping, or getting through life. It’s discovering who you are and the person you are becoming. It's reaching daily success and fulfillment with happiness and compassion. A thriving life is filled with the passion and purpose to support people with empathy, giving them the best we have for what they need. It’s outward and people-focused.
Most adults must admit that we are not currently thriving and resilient. But that’s okay. We can grow right alongside our kids. It’s never too late to cultivate thriving resilience in our lives. That’s why I believe my primary coaching audience is you–I can guide you in finding thriving resilience in yourself and then empower your children by being who you are and rubbing off on them.
My 6-Simple Steps
My 6-Step Thriving Resilience Treehouse Blueprint will guide you to your desired destination. It is a proven, effective, evidence-based progression of empathetic understandings and concrete actions to empower emotional regulation and thriving resilience in neurodivergent children and teens at home and school.
Why a treehouse? I picture the development of our Exceptionally Wired kids like building a treehouse. We start with a strong foundation of a strong and deeply rooted tree and work our way from the bottom up. The end result is a place (the treehouse) and a way of life. Care and planning are at the forefront, followed by building, adjusting, and fun.
Embrace - The Foundation Level
Engage - The Connection Level
Establish - The Regulation Level
Equip - The Strategy Level
Empower - The Independence Level
Express - The Leadership Level
These levels build upon each other while becoming interdependent and recurring throughout a child’s development into adulthood.
How I Offer This Blueprint
The One-Time 60-Minute 1:1 Power Session focuses on one of these levels and breaks it down to
A brief overview of the level
Identifying your top 3 concerns/desires at this level
Developing together at least one immediate strategy to address these concerns/desires,
and co-creating an action plan for life after the call.
The 4-Week Mini-Program tackles each of the 4 areas above but spends an entire 60-minute 1:1 coaching session on each one with time to develop more strategies and detailed action plans.
The 3-Month Signature Program includes:
In-depth, on-demand course content based on one of the 6 levels, encouraging participants to start at Level 1 (Embrace)
Access to the Thriving Resilience Treehouse Community–open to those in the program to engage with like-minded individuals for encouragement, support, and guidance.
Six bi-monthly 1-hour virtual group coaching calls and 3 monthly 75-minute 1:1 coaching calls to drill down into the content of the course in a personalized and action-oriented boost.
Text and email access to me up to 3x a week with a 12-hour response promise.
Why This Matters
Not sure which of you reading needs this, but if you’re trying to parent or teach a neurodivergent child or teen without a coach, you’re denying them access to empowering emotional regulation and resilience. Ignoring this will only lead to further frustration, misunderstandings, and missed opportunities for you and the child.
Get the support you need—before it’s too late. Book a free, no-obligation strategy call today. We can spend 20 minutes sharing your story and discussing how to get an immediate quick win. Or, if you would like to learn more, book that call and we can discuss your wants, needs, and course of action.
Thank you for letting me share this journey with you. I hope this article clarifies TIMC coaching and how I am here to serve you, your family, and your classroom kids.
Till next time,
Dr. David
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